Olly Wicken desperately wants to convince himself that it is a good thing
The demise of Watford’s matchday programme is a good thing.
(I keep telling myself this. Soon I’m going to believe it.)
My life will improve immeasurably in its absence.
Never again will my treasured pre-match moment of smelling fried onions outside ‘Only Foods And Sauces’ be disturbed by someone shouting ‘Pwogramme!’
Never again, during the game, when the opposition’s useless number ten keeps kicking the ball straight up in the air, will I be tempted to look away from the action to consult a piece of paper that tells me his name (and possibly his height, weight, birthplace, car, and favourite meal).
Never again, when I get home after the game, will I put a £4 magazine straight into an old cardboard storage box under my bed, unread.
These are all positive developments.
They must be. I have to believe it. I cling to enough tradition already.
And there are other benefits.
Old programmes are time toilets. I throw hours of my day down the pan by browsing the square programmes from the 1980s, or admiring the graphics from 1976. In twenty years’ time, I’ll have 400 fewer in my collection than I would have done. 400 fewer calling to me when I should be mowing the lawn or doing last night’s washing-up. This is a good thing.
And think of the space I won’t use up in my loft. There’ll be more room for my 150 match-worn shirts and my rapidly expanding collection of Watford Treasury books. Yes. That’s the way to think about it. I’ll be ‘decluttering’. (Relatively. Compared to what would have happened.)
So I’m right. The demise of Watford’s matchday programme is definitely a good thing. Definitely. In fact, I’m sure I’ll come up with a few more reasons when I’ve finished drying out the tear-stained pages of this one in front of me that turned out to be the last Watford programme ever.
Sheffield Wednesday at home — May 3rd 2025. I need to get it back into pristine condition. Not for its collector value, but as a keepsake of a momentous day for my personal growth.
Comments
I had a loft clear-out a few months ago and there, among the old photos proving I once had a full head of hair and the school exercise books proving I once had a full head of learning, were my boxes of WFC programmes. After spending time leafing through them but not recalling most of the games, I decided they were clutter and got rid of them*.
I’ve not bought a programme for years, preferring to buy a Watford Observer instead to read through the club’s news and match reports in the back pages once I’d taken my seat. Truth is, I’ve not even done that in recent years, now scrolling through internet-based content instead – when I can get a damn signal in the ground, that is!
I won’t be mourning the demise of matchday ‘pwogwammes’ (although I will miss hearing that plaintive single-word sales pitch as I get to the corner of the Vic on matchdays). Paying a few quid to play an increasingly disappointing game of ‘Hunt the Article’ as they each drown in the tumultuous oceans of irrelevant and mystifying adverts (an official Watford ‘manscaper’, anyone?) is not the fun it once pretended to be. They are a relic of the past.
I’ve kept some of course, to remind me why Watford FC still courses through my veins. You can probably guess the main ones: Man Utd 1 Watford 2, Watford 7 Southampton 1, Watford 3 Kaiserslauten 0 and Luton 0 Watford 4 to name but a few. Wistful sighs now accompany each one!I keep all my programme (an there are a lot of them) in my exercise room. After exercise I collapse into a chair and look at my programmes, Wattford Treasury publications, fanzines and old Football Monthy magazines. I live in Vancouver and look forward to bringing programmes back with me for filing. I guess I am getting old and am going to miss out on future trips.
I can understand non league teams going to on line programmes but the Mighty Hornets?, it’s the end of the world as I know it.
I think I’ll write to Private Eye.
I am horrified that programmes will no longer be available- I have every WFC programme from the matches I have attended – I need some substantial proof that I have attended that game – its part of my memory bank!!!