In a mysterious occurrence, far too complicated to explain to anyone lacking a degree in quantum physics, Watford’s tenacious midfield lion, Roger Joslyn, has been transported from 1978 to today’s first-team squad. Caught in a maelstrom of conflicting ideologies, Jaws is forced to adapt to modern life. Colin Payne finds out more...
Following a particularly gruelling training session, in which Roger went nose-to-nose with the Forest-bound Emmanuel Dennis after an unfortunate nutmeg incident, the Watford players are each presented with a brown cardboard box.
Roger: “Hey Gaffer, what’s this?”
Rob Edwards: “It’s from our latest sponsor, it’s your male grooming kit.”
Roger: “What’s it for?”
Rob: “It’s for manscaping.”
Roger: “What’s that?”
Rob: “You know, manscaping, let me show you with this kiwi fruit.”
Roger: “What’s a kiwi fruit?”
Rob: “Never mind the kiwi fruit. It’s for grooming below the belt.”
Roger: “What do you mean?”
Rob: “Polishing the crown jewels.”
Roger: “What?”
Rob: “Shaving the coconuts.”
Roger: “Coconuts?”
Rob: “OK, it’s to remove your pubic hair, to present a hygienic and clean look that will conform with modern social norms, whilst leaving you itchy and scratchy if you don’t keep on top of it. Now, is that clearer?”
Roger: “Yeah. No thanks, but can I taste the kiwi fruit?”